impulsiveness

i am not impulsive... i always like to think things through, so that i can live with each decision that i make, knowing that it came from a well thought out process. and today, today i had an impulsive move. i've told you something that i should have waited before telling you, and now i feel afraid that i will not be able to live with what i told you. i want to call you, to text you, to somehow find a way to apologize for what i told you without even carrying about what you felt...
but i told you i'd give you the time to think... i've told you before that i thought you had many things to think about, and i am glad you are taking the time to think of them... i am also afraid of the outcome of your thinking. i am afraid i'll never get to see your eyes again... afraid i'll never feel your beard touching my neck again... afraid i might have lost you, when you're the only person i want to be with... and then again, afraid that i might get hurt again... so yes, i am glad you are taking the time to think, and i am trying to focus on something else other than your thoughts, for i am sure you will take the right decision, or at least the right one for you... and it might sound cliché, but i actually want to see you happy more than anything else...