miss you...

i want to write you. want to tell you how i feel, what i feel... and yet i don't know what else to tell you. no, i don't want to convince you, but the thought of never seeing you again doesn't seem to agree with me. i want to pick my phone and call you... i want to open my mail and write you... i want to get in my car and drive to your place... i never thought i could get so attach in such a little amount of time, but everything seemed so perfect... you were so perfect... that i let my guards down and fell for you... and the being with you was just perfect... i'm trying to keep the good moments in my mind. i'm trying to keep just the good things, and throw out all the things that hurt... and yet i cry. i can't even hate you for i love you so much... i guess you will never get to read about my random facts, or about the nice things i can write when i'm happy... you will miss the happy me around christmas, just because it's christmas, and the silly me that just gets you some silly present... but then again, a relationship needs to be between two people, and i don't want to force you to do something you don't want to. i will get over the pain... i always have... it is painful, but i will get over it... but until then, i'll miss your smile, and your eyes, and your touch... i will miss you, but i will get over it...